The secret to living a fulfilling life

Published: Jun 01, 2021
By: Loretta Milan

How to find true fulfilment

Do you think true happiness and fulfilment can only come when you achieve your dreams? Are you waiting to finish that book, make a business a success, to lose weight, find love or something else? 

Often a dream has another meaning, something you want deeper down. It could be freedom, peace, confidence, self love or clarity. The mistake many people make is to ‘chase’ the surface dream, unaware of this deeper purpose. 

When you first have a dream, it can be very exciting. You may become swept up in the initial buzz and, before you know it, are sacrificing much of yourself and the present moment as you strive for the future, for where you wish you could be.

You may wonder if you’ll ever feel fulfilled.

The truth is, you don’t need to wait to experience the wonderful feeling of fulfilment. You can enjoy it now, on the journey to your dreams.

The secret to a happy dream life

To ensure your dreams make you truly happy, you need more than a single destination for your life. You need to know your deeper purpose and you need balance.

Balance is important not just when you get there but right from the beginning of your journey. You should make sure you are looking after all aspects of your life including your wellbeing, wealth and relationships while driven by the strong sense of purpose that comes from your dreams.

The best way to assess where you are now is plot your lifestyle onto the Original Life Star in one of our Life Planners. Alternatively, you can draw out the star below in your notebook. Mark each line to represent how you feel you’re doing right now in each area. 5 is the highest score, 1 the lowest. Be as honest as you can.

Allow the star to give you a complete picture of how things are going.

You can also add extra lines to your star to represent what’s important to you in each of the four areas. It’s your star and it’s important that it works for you.

How are you doing?

Join up all your marks and look at the shape of the line. This will give you an immediate impression of where your life is strongest and where some improvements could make your life happier and more fulfilling.

If you’re doing well in all areas. Brilliant. Keep up the great work and make sure you review your Original Life Star regularly so you can keep your life aligned as things change. If there is an area that is out of balance, commit some time to addressing it in an uplifting way using some of the ideas below.

1. Wellbeing

One of the most common areas to be out of balance is wellbeing because it’s too easy to sacrifice yourself to get everything else done. Try one of the following over the next week:

• Self care – Plan regular time in your diary for self care, for example enjoy a bubble bath, buy yourself flowers, have a nap or read an uplifting book.
• Journal – Treat yourself to a beautiful notebook and try to journal several times a week for at least ten minutes.
• Play – Make time for fun. Try a new craft. Bake a cake. Write a fun story. Build a lego sculpture. Let yourself be a kid and get lost in the activity.
• Work out – Consider creating an exercise plan that incorporates activities you find the most enjoyable. This doesn’t necessarily mean an intense aerobics class or weight lifting. You could garden, swim or dance.
• Be mindful – You could do a mindfulness meditation or calm activity that helps you be present in the moment for example colouring, walking in nature or yoga.
• Have a clear out – Decluttering, reorganising and tidying a corner of your home, especially if it’s somewhere you spend a lot of time, can be so satisfying. Once it’s done, you should feel peace in the space.

2. Purpose

There can be three common issues in this area and both can be fixed with a little time:

1. You’re lacking purpose in general – Maybe you feel over worked, burned out or just have a nagging feeling you aren’t where you want to be in life. What you need is a new dream for you life and a way to start living it now. Even if you can spend just ten minutes a day living your dream, it should bring you purpose. Try these tips.
2. Your dream feels like a faraway destination – This feeling can come from either not believing that your dreams can come true or believing dreams can only exist in the future. But, you can live your dream life most days. Could you set aside at least ten minutes a day for something you love? For example, you may dream of being a published author and one day writing full-time. However, in the meantime, you could commit to writing 100 words a day and embrace every moment you do this. Your words will add up quickly and could become something special.
3. You’re living your dream but feel hollow – This often comes from working on your purpose at the expense of other areas of your life. Take a look at your wellbeing and relationships. Addressing the balance can bring back the feeling of fulfilment. One thing that can make a great difference is telling people about your dreams and getting them on board with them. This may take time. Joining communities of likeminded people can help you thrive. Why not become part of our community of people who #LiveOriginally and make their dreams happen? It’s free to sign up here.

3. Wealth

Most people have a strong link between their dream and wealth.

Maybe they dream of running a successful business to make money or become a bestselling author so they can afford to do their craft a full-time.

There are three concerns around wealth:

• Lack of money – If you don’t have enough money to do what you want to do, this can be highly frustrating. The thing to remember is that life is not a race. You don’t have to do everything right away. Are there some things you could cut back on to save a little money every month toward you dreams? Is there a side hustle you could do for a short while to build up the funds? Or, is there a more steady route you could take that would allow you to achieve what you want in time? Meanwhile, you can always do something toward your dreams. There are lots of free videos, guides and support available online and you can start making the most of these now.

• Lack of security – Making money often requires investing in yourself, your business or your craft and temporarily this can affect the feeling of security which is one of the most common drivers for feeling vulnerable in this area. The best way to address this is to have a plan that helps you make wise decisions and know if you are on track.

• Lack of opportunities – Luck generally comes when opportunity makes preparation. So, if you want more opportunities, invest time in yourself, making what you have to offer shine and put yourself out there. Don’t let fears of failure or rejection hold you back. You’re going to experience them when you go for your dreams. Accept this is part of life and know that it is no way a reflection of how good you are. Take fear for a ride and go for your dreams. You deserve them!

4. Relationships

Relationships are another key area where your life can be affected if you chase rather than live your dreams. There also seems to be a societal expectation that relationships should suffer. So often, in films and books, characters have to give up their dreams for love. This is simply not true.

Instead, design your path to your dreams in a way that embraces your relationships:

• Bring your loved ones onboard – Talk to friends and family to find a way to make your dreams happen in a way that fits in with your commitments and the things you enjoy doing together. Reassure them that you still love them and that bringing your dream into your life will bring you additional happiness that benefits everyone.
• Give them time to adapt – It’s not uncommon for friends and family to be wary of any new direction at first. They may worry about what impact this could have on your life and whether it is actually right for you. They may also worry that you’ll change, stop being yourself and maybe even stop loving them. This is natural. Do everything to reassure them that they are very much part of your journey.
• Bring them on the journey – Share your progress. Show them how much you appreciate their support by giving gifts, writing thoughtful messages and simply saying ‘thank you’. Make being on the journey with you enjoyable.
• Take time to network – Don’t forget to make time for genuine networking. You never know who you could meet that could open doors for you in the future. It’s immensely satisfying to help others too. Kindness makes the world go round.

Don’t chase your dreams. Balance your star and enjoy living your dream today.